9:00AM
As I type this, I feel a strong desire to use the bathroom. In some cultures, it’s OK to say this, in others, it’s not OK. By cultures, I don’t just mean national culture, but even family cultures as well. Some families are totally fine with people announcing they’re going to use the bathroom, and doing so in more graphic terms. Others prefer euphemisms and other indirect references to what one has to naturally do every day as a human.
In much of the cultures to which I belong (because we all belong/interact with many different cultures all the time), saying that I have to go have a bowel movement is considered quite rude. Even typing it right now in such a scientific way makes me feel uncomfortable. I remember running a training project in Germany and was really struggling with constipation throughout the week. One of my fellow trainers was from Romania and she kept coming up to me and asking me how everything was going, if everything was flowing, and in more graphic terms. I felt so uncomfortable. Then I believe she even mentioned that I was struggling with that issue in front of the 40 participants! I felt mortified! And yet, I also learned that in many European cultures, talking about it is not such a big deal—again it’s a natural process that happens for every human.
It helps me reflect on why so many of us don’t say how we feel: it reveals what is happening in our bodies at that particular moment. If I tell you that I have an upset stomach, you can imagine it gurgling and making me feel uncomfortable. If I tell you I’m angry, you can imagine my heart racing, my jaw tensing, and more. If I tell you that I’m feeling sad, you can imagine my tears, my slouch, and my overall weakness.
If I tell you about something that I did or something that I believe, it doesn’t give you so much access to my body. “I believe that the sky is blue.” That says nothing about my body. “I went to the store.” Yes, it says something about my body but in the past and not so much what was happening internally, but externally. “I want you to leave me alone.” Even that doesn’t directly say something about the internal state of the body—it may say I’m angry, confused, tired, annoyed, etc.
I believe that while we try to hide many things in our lives, we really try to hide what’s happening in our bodies, and thus, we often hide how we’re feeling. It can feel so vulnerable to almost open our skin and let people see what our organs are doing on the inside. To show all of our cards, to know that other people are thinking about our bodies. Maybe this is just me. Maybe it’s just a fear that I have about people thinking about my body. Maybe it relates to my own insecurities.
And yet, I think I’m not alone. If I ask you, “When you think about your body, what’s one thing that currently makes you feel ashamed?” I’m sure many will know.
9:10AM
