As I puff out my beard, I think about the decisions that Abraham Lincoln and many of the previous presidents of the United States had to make. I try to imagine what it must have felt like in making the decision to abolish slavery or to send soldiers into a civil war, one that pit brothers against each other. I wonder how he was able to sleep at night knowing that no matter which decision he made, thousands of people were going to die.
Fast forward to today. Our elected officials are making decisions that are going to save some lives and lose others. No matter which decision they make, people are going to die. If they choose to keep us in quarantine, then people may die from domestic abuse, suicide, drug overdose, alcohol overdose, and other causes. If they let us go back to work, then people are going to die from COVID-19, car accidents, and other causes. No matter which decision they make, people are going to die because of their decision.
I don’t know how politicians are able to do it. Maybe they aren’t able to do it, if doing it means keep an open heart. How do they make such decisions and not feel the heavy weight on their soul? How do they open up the newspapers or social media and withstand the barrage of attacks and blame they will face? Back in the day of Lincoln, if his decisions led to someone dying, he may never hear from the family who lost the loved one—today, our leaders may see a video personally addressed to them of the family bawling their eyes out.
I think a lot of times I believe that we just don’t have the right people in politics. That the “corrupt” ones are those who have the courage to enter, the rest of us “good” ones not participating. I’ve started to change my mind about this over the years. I asked a guy who ran for state senate in Alaska as an independent, “What kind of emotional support did you have?” He replied, “My wife, my kids…to be honest, I was totally unprepared for the emotional toll it would take.”
I have a friend who studies the impact of open voting in the legislature and he had a similar realization. He said that most of the people who focus on political reform think that we elect the wrong people and if we just elected the right people, then governance would be strong. He argues that it’s less about who gets into office and what happens to them when they’re there. The intimidation, bullying, brubery as he calls it (the sibling of bribery), and other emotional attacks that eat at their soul.
As we continue trying to overcome COVID-19, politicians all around the world are going to be making very difficult decisions, decisions most of us could never fathom making. While I will probably still feel very angry, annoyed, and confused by many of the decisions, I hope that I at least pause to recognize that these are human beings trying their best, with whatever tools and resources they’ve accumulated over the years. They may not be perfect, but they’re trying, and I’m grateful for that.
