Stumbling through the Atlantic, I came across the article “Ask a Hostage Negotiator: What’s the Best Way to Get a Raise?”
In summary? Pay attention to emotions.
Chris Voss was at the FBI for 24 years, and from 2004-2007, was the FBI’s lead international hostage negotiator. So, I believe that this man has been through some intense negotiations, to say the least.
What astounded me from the article is how he repeatedly mentioned emotions and how most people will forget about how vital emotions are to the success of a negotiation.
I suggest reading the full interview to absorb his perspective, as may inspire you as deeply as it has me.
Below are a few quotes that blew me away:
We like to say that the key to flexibility is don’t be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better.
People most of the time think that in order to push very hard, “I gotta be tough.” In reality it’s the opposite: The nicer you are, the harder you can push.
Most people only prepare for the numbers, they don’t prepare for the emotional dynamics that the negotiation is going to engage in.