Transcript
Hello, everyone welcome to another Dailyjim it is Thursday, 4, 2022. Today I wanted to talk about mm whether we want people to feel good or we want people to say how they're feeling or both. So, this is something I'm really noticing in the past couple of days, months years, whatnot people ask me, how are you or how are things or how have you been? And I can often answer with a long paragraph whether that's a written text or whether it's on the phone, I can give quite a long story, and then pause and go, wait, did you want to hear that much and feel that almost guilt or that fear that. The person didn't necessarily want to hear me answer in such length, you know, how are you? Fine? How are you? Good? How are you? Well, I'm feeling this and I'm feeling that. Well, I've been feeling this and I'm also struggling with this, but I'm excited about that, I'm worried about this, I feel confident in this and people Whoa, whoa, whoa but are they feeling, Whoa, whoa, whoa. Um and so I've been trying to reflect on this more, just, you know, personally, but also from a work standpoint is do we want to get better at saying how we feel to others? Do we want other people to get better at saying how they feel to us all across the spectrum. So not just the I feel great, I feel excited, I feel proud or happy or whatever, but also sad, angry, confused and whichever words people want to use in their language. And or or and or do we want people to just feel good to be well? So kind of this balance between being emotionally healthy, however, that we define that and communicating that emotional health of those emotional states to others.
And it's something I've posted about in different ways and thought about a lot is do people want my answer or do people want my process? Do people want both? Do I want people's answers or process? I don't know. Maybe it depends on the time, maybe it depends on what I'm going through. Do I want to hear about the grief that somebody's experiencing right now and the pain and the anguish. Maybe if somebody's experiencing suicidal thoughts, do I have the space for that?
But if not, do I want them to close off from me and I ask them how they're doing and they just say I'm fine. I don't know. I think I tend to want people to say how they're feeling even if it's across the board like a lot of different feelings, but maybe that's also because maybe a lot of people don't say it to me. Maybe there are some people who get overwhelmed and and often get overwhelmed and get dumped on with all these feelings and burn a brown talks about it a little bit in terms of over sharing, or kind of emotionally did she say emotionally vomiting or is that just the term? I made up something along those lines of just sharing lots of emotions very quickly with someone.
I don't know. I really don't know the answer. I'm curious what other people think on this because oh can I'm sure it's a balance, you know, I feel really confident. It's probably a balance. We want people to tell us how they're feeling, but we also want them to be feeling well? So if someone's telling us how they're feeling and they're always I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm sad. I can't believe I'm this and that then maybe we can become angry and frustrated all the time. But if there doing really well and they're not talking with us, me, I don't know, we we say that a lot. You know, I just, I just want you to be well, you know, happens in relationship breakup and company breakups and things like this. The number one thing is I want you to be, well, I want me to be well. But is that the number one thing or do we want to be well and together or would we prefer to be unwell and together or well and apart or distance rather? So just really curious and reflecting on these things because I think a lot of times, um, I don't know, I think I've tended to go more towards the sharing route opening up and sharing about being emotionally open rather than about being quote unquote emotionally healthy, which, I don't know if there's ways to separate the two, but.
I don't know, It comes up in different conversations where sometimes, like I said, I worry that I share too much with people about how I'm feeling and then. Sometimes people are totally fine with it and other times people like whoa, and this is the one gives me a lot. I'll go a little deeper. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Like, you know, I, I don't have time and space for all this. This is too much. I think you should go talk with a therapist and maybe I should, maybe I would really enjoy it and really like it and then there's a part of me that goes, but do the people in my life not want to hear what I'm feeling? Do they just want to hear me feel good, feel the quote unquote positive emotions and. I try to pull back and go, maybe it's not that they don't want to hear these things, It may be that in this particular moment they don't, they're dealing with so much stuff themselves that it just puts them over the edge. It kind of takes someone to, you know, the cup is full and the glass starts to overflow. If I were to add more things into it. So just really trying to balance, you know, at the end of the day, maybe it is about our emotional health and also sharing it based on what the other person's emotional health is and trying to recognize and have conversations about that and just recognize, people's emotional states and our emotional states and how they do gel. Or maybe conflict at different times based on different contexts and, and such. So maybe there's no answer because oh, I spent so much time trying to find answers, but maybe maybe maybe the answer is there's no answer. I don't know. What do y'all think This is the last episode for the week. So if you want to add a jump on the forum and you can communicate there and continue the conversation. All right, enjoy the weekend, everyone and talk to you soon.
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