Transcript
Hello everyone, welcome to another Daily Gym. This is the episode for Tuesday, February 13th, 2024, and I'm recording just slightly after midnight again. You know, sometimes the late night reflections are a little more honest. No. Today I want to talk about.
Whether how often we ha struggling maybe doing it late at night is hard, um not so much basically the emotional conversations we do or don't have with ourselves maybe that's it that's a good title i don't know if i like this whole giving a title before i give of the speech. So the reflection today. So I was thinking about how often do we engage in the emotional conversation with ourselves and with other people and how often do we disengage through various means. So one way to disengage is to basically tell ourselves to shut up and to stop paying attention to how we feel or how other people feel. And another way is maybe just to to ignore it. Another way is maybe to lie and talk, not lie necessarily, but to talk about how we want to feel more than how we're actually feeling.
So I think about this a lot and I thought about today because I think often I can have a tendency, you know, gosh, I've been doing this since 2012 where I built iFeelio and the whole point was asking myself, how do I feel and what's happening? And so I answered, I think 4,000 times, how do I feel across four years into the app? And at some point I even experimented with this idea of, uh, I think you've, I think you feel Leo. Whereas the idea of like, how do I imagine somebody else's feeling? So how do I imagine this person might be feeling and, um, what's happening for them? And I find that sometimes I think I can can be quite honest with myself about how I'm feeling in the moment. But even then I will disconnect sometimes if maybe I'm feeling too much fear and I don't want to feel the fear, or if I'm feeling too much anger, if I'm feeling too much stress or shame or whatnot, maybe I'll just overlook it and ignore it. And sometimes kind of fight against, ah, what's wrong with you? Why Why are you feeling so afraid? You shouldn't be so afraid. And try to get rid of some of those fears and those feelings. Or, again, ignore them. Push them down or to just pretend that they don't exist.
I'm thinking about it because that's when I'm kind of disrupting the emotional conversation with myself or with the emotions that maybe are existing within me, quote unquote, purely.
But how often do I ignore or push down the emotional conversation with somebody else? Where, for example, I see somebody make like a big exhale. tail. How often do I not go, huh, how do I imagine they might be feeling? And really try to dig into the emotional situation which they're in. Sometimes I'll get frustrated. The person is, I just wish that they were, I wish I want them to be feeling X instead of how are they currently feeling.
And I find that when I do let the conversation flow with me and with other the emotions that are happening around me, I tend to feel a lot more connected, a lot more grounded in a way, and a lot more aware of what's going on. And I think sometimes when we get into depression or we get into hatred or we get into some of these apathy or indifference, I think a lot of it is really just disconnecting from from the conversation or disengaging from the conversation with emotions in general, and especially the emotions of the present moment with me and with other people.
I think a lot of times hating somebody else is really just not imagining how that person might be feeling. I find it really hard to hate somebody if I am imagining how they're feeling. I think I spend a lot of time trying to convince people, hey, everyone's a good person and we should all see everyone as a good person instead of just being like, how do you think this person is feeling right now? How do you imagine that they might be feeling? Now, people may not want to answer, they may want to ignore, nor they may want to fight that conversation as well. But I find just paying attention to emotions in me, in other people, in other beings, in dogs and cats, in the skunk that we saw outside last night, you know, imagining their emotional states in my own emotional state.
Can really help me feel safe in a way. More protected, more safe, more confident, more grounded, more aware of what's going on. Yeah. But this is something that we don't talk about too much. We often just talk about our thoughts and not necessarily the feelings. And we talk about the stories or the beliefs on people's intentions, but, or the certainty about what this is and that is, instead of imagining the emotional side of things, the feelings, the anger, the joy, the confusion, the excitement, the gratitude, the despair, so much and everything in between. So, yep, this was a late night reflection because it It feels like rambling, oh, and then the clock strikes two. So I'm going to end this right here, and I will talk to you next time.
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