Transcript
Hey there. Welcome to another dailyjim it is May 26 2022, At night. It is what, what is it? It's Wednesday thursday, thursday. Gosh, it's thursday. Um what I wanted to talk about today actually has to do with consent and asking for consent to requesting consent. No, I said I think so and you know the other day I talked about permission to leave or permission to stop doing something and I think this is ah permission to join or consent to join. That's the phrase that I wanted to use this idea of like consent to join something or asking for consent to join. Um and you know after all this school shooting that happened yesterday and I think he was just 32 days ago. It all blurs together sometimes after that and thinking about, you know, talking about this topic may seem unrelated, but I think a lot of times. Things that happen in life resolve or result from conflicts that we aren't able to resolve at a very foundational level and these foundational conflicts build up and accumulate and then lead to larger conflict. So I strongly believe that by focusing on lower level conflicts in lower level interactions that we can prevent some of these things. But anyways not to go too far into that. But talking about this idea of consent to join, I was listening to reading an article by Derek Sievers the other day and it was titled I believe hell yeah or no. And the idea with this is that if you ask somebody and they are not, you ask somebody or somebody yourself if you want to do something and they don't feel that hell yes, I want to do it. This is amazing. I can't believe this is an opportunity I can do then say no. And his perspective I believe is much more from a minimalist standpoint, but it reminded me of talking to this one sales guy that I met on a flight from Sweden to Dubai, I think he was going from Sweden to Dubai to Japan, and he told me in Japan when he would sell things, I think selling soap or something like that, he said he'd go up to somebody and he had asked them if they would like to buy the product and if they hesitated, if they didn't seem so enthusiastic about it, he would hand him his card and say if you ever do here, just reach out to me And he said he would go talk to somebody else because there was something like 20 million people in Tokyo. He said I'm trying to find the people who are very excited to do what I want to do.
And I've seen a lot in my personal life, especially in the romantic side, but in even in business, in trying to run workshops and that, I can often try to convince the people who aren't that excited, I think, okay, maybe they have the potential to be excited about this, or maybe I have the belief, I think they need this, but maybe they kind of want it, but they're ambivalent about it, but I think, if I persist or whatnot, they'll eventually change their mind.
Um and in talking about letting people have the permission to leave, the consent to join, maybe is asking people if they actually want to join and if they don't give that enthusiastically, defaulting it to a know, which comes down to a lot of the consent conversations. I think we have, you know, in schools or in kids. This idea that no means no and maybe means no. Maybe doesn't mean yes, and I think that gets conflated a lot in our culture and american culture and professional culture and american professional culture and in other ways as well. And so I was just trying to take a lot of time this week week to reflect on.
How do I.
Let my, let myself find the people who are really excited and let the other ones go, who aren't necessarily so excited, because I think when I, and I imagine you as well try to keep some of these people, we don't want to let them go as clients, as lovers, as friends, as family, as neighbors, whatever it may be when we don't want to let them go, but they don't seem to want to join their, not so enthusiastic to participate, then we can get into this situation where one person is very enthusiastic to participate and the other person is ambivalent and then there's.
It's almost like each person tries to convince the other person to participate at their level or to want the thing that they want. So there's this weird jostling of maybe a lot of times I think it's subconscious that were jostling to get the other person too. I feel more confident that they want it. Sometimes we want these things, but we also want other things and so I say this just to I remind myself, but also to remind you that in a lot of situations.
There are people who are very excited for the thing that we're offering and there, but they may not be that many people but they may be out there in some ways. So this seems like coded. I think part of, again part of this is coming from a romantic realization, but part of this is from the workshops and posting even an audio I posted yesterday about, called You might be feeling with Jim Kleiber the idea was to reflect on how many people might be feeling with regards to the shooting that happened at the school and I thought, oh, this might be too intense for people, this might be too intense. And I thought, you know what, I can put it out there and the ones who are excited to listen to it will listen to it and the ones who are not will not and that's okay. It's easy to say that it's so hard for me to actually ah let that sit. So I don't know, I hope hope this resonated with you a little bit, if it didn't, I hope it just gave you a little more window into who I have been and how I have behaved and yeah, shoot seven minutes so I'm going to close this off and talk to you tomorrow and then there's a weekend. Bye!
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