Do you speak because you want to be heard or because you want to speak? Do you put yourself out there because you want people to like you or do you want to put yourself out there?
2016 was a year where I consumed a lot of content, whether from the TV, internet, or smartphone. I read blogs. I watched YouTube videos. I listened to podcasts. I tuned into what other people were saying. I even checked out new startups on ProductHunt. I watched what other people were doing.
In reflecting on it, it seemed that many people put themselves out there so that they can get attention. They say what they think other people will want them to say, they do what they think others will want them to do, they try to be how they think others want them to be. I’m no different. I spent 2016 freaking out about what to write, what to say, how to appear, how to exist, so that others saw me as a competent and attractive businessman. “He knows what he’s doing,” is what I secretly hoped they would say.
But if what I’m doing is doing what I think they want me to do, what am I really doing and do I really know what it is? I love that sentence and I’m not sure if it makes sense and yet I’ll leave it be!
When I scroll Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, the New York Times, and other media and see people saying outlandish things, I wonder if they really want to say those things or if they want to get attention. Being ignored hurts. Some attention is better than no attention. Excommunication used to mean death. Today it just seems to be death from the inside. Feel so lonely that nobody is paying attention to you that you lash out until people do, and if they don’t, you start to question your own worth.
I don’t really want that much attention. I used to, and many people tell me that I should want it. I should want millions of followers, or downloads, or dollars, or anything to show my status and popularity. However, over the last few years, I’ve given myself more attention. I pay attention to my body, to my emotions, to my thoughts, to my breath, and many other factors so that I don’t need someone else to pay attention to them as much.
So why write now? Because I have something I want to say. I don’t care so much if people want to hear it, I want to say it. I think it needs to be said and I don’t hear anyone else saying it.
What do you want to say that you’re worried people will ignore?