1:00PM
I started this experiment for quite a few reasons. I wanted to get better at writing extemporaneously, I wanted to have something to do to pass the time during quarantine, I wanted to have a record of how I was thinking and feeling during these unusual times.
I wonder how much I’ve learned. I definitely have learned how to use Zoom Webinars better. I definitely have figured out different things about my speaking ability as I record the audios. I’d say that I’ve learned a few things, but in the moment I don’t have the urge to talk about that.
What I want to talk about is how we all play a role, and sometimes we don’t even know it. I watched the documentary on Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls finish yesterday, and it helped me sink a little more into the idea that everyone plays a role to bring a team to the championship. Jordan was the go-to guy, who played the scoring role but also the celebrity/idol role. Steve Kerr played the shooting role. Rodman played the defender/rebounder role. Everyone has their role.
I think about writing during this quarantine and often I’ve asked myself if what I’m doing matters. I just spent 35 days doing the same thing every day, 3 times per day, and sometimes it feels empty. And yet, I try to remember the Bulls and how perhaps this is the role that I’m meant to play right now. That me being at home with my parents, taking care to not get them sick, and writing things stream of consciousness is one thing that could help one person in the world.
Maybe its role was just to help me. To give me a reason to get out of bed. To give me the courage to call myself an author, because, if I have a book that people can buy, for some reason, I feel more comfortable calling myself an author. To give me a channel to communicate some of what I’m thinking and feeling with the world, or at least to myself.
I think of the nurses and doctors out there playing their obvious roles in this pandemic. I also think of the garbage collectors, the mask makers, the politicians, the bankers, the engineers, the customer service reps, the chocolatiers, the (now online) fitness coaches, the comedians, the musicians, the beer makers, the delivery people, and so many other humans who are doing their role to help us all in this time of crisis.
Not everyone has to be Michael Jordan. Some of us just need to be ourselves—sometimes we don’t realize how much our role is helping others.
Sometimes the role is to not do anything. To just be. Quiet, still, at home. Getting out of the way of others. Sometimes we just be.
1:10PM
