1:00PM
Let’s talk about sex, baby.
I rarely talk about sex in a public forum, maybe because of my American culture, maybe because my family didn’t talk about it much growing up or even today. But I think it’s something we need to discuss more, especially in the context of a global pandemic and lockdown.
I wonder how this pandemic is affecting the sexual lives of people. I’m sure some who are married or locked down with a romantic partner may be having a lot more sex, some of them may be having less sex, and most likely, half of the partnership wants more and the other half wants less, and there is conflict over that.
Also, there are people locked down who are without sexual partners and probably having much less sex, if any, with other people these days. For some, that may provide a welcome relief. For others, that may drive them crazy. Some may be preoccupied with other things in life that it’s the last thing on their mind.
Still others are not only locked down without partners but are with family members. Some are locked down by themselves. Some are at home. Some are working at the hospitals and staying in hotels and haven’t seen their families for two months.
I fear that a lot of sexual violence is happening right now and will happen in the future. That people who are quarantined with partners may be forcing/coercing/tricking them into having more sex than they want to. Domestic and sexual violence was a thing before the quarantine and I worry that it may be more intense right now.
But maybe not for all. Perhaps some people, without having anywhere to go, are resolving their relationship issues, talking about the deep intense stuff, and creating more intimate bonds. Perhaps this crisis is bringing them closer together.
I also wonder and again, worry, how much sexual violence there will be after the lockdown. I’ve noticed that when I’ve gone to the grocery store, my hormones are super high, and my eyes are darting from woman to woman. It feels like going camping for two months without any contact with peers of the opposite sex and I’m starting to get that camping fever.
I worry that people, especially men, will come out of this with hormones raging amidst frustration from other aspects of life (lost job, lost home, lost confidence, lost loved one, etc.) and seek avenues for control, one of the main ones being sexual violence.
I sure hope not. I talk about this not because I want it to happen or I believe that it will happen, but rather because I think discussing it can help us make decisions to prevent it. I appreciated this perspective from Yuval Noah Harari in that video I watched yesterday, where he talked about the future where we may have a useless class of people. He said it wasn’t a prophecy, but rather a possibility, and by discussing it, we could potentially avoid that possibility.
Whether we want to admit it, we are sexual beings. Not everyone may be as sexual as the other, but overall, we humans like sex. I just hope that we also remember to respect other people’s yes and other people’s no.
1:10PM
